Whether you’ve been married for 25 years, or you find yourself back in the dating game, the general view on relationships can change as we get older. Some of it can be blamed on stereotypes, like ‘letting the spark die,’ or not knowing the latest trends in the world of dating. Unfortunately, these stereotypes put a lot of pressure on our relationships, and can allow us to become more lax about them.
Being in a relationship after the age of 50 doesn’t have to feel stagnant, or scary. In fact, many of the ‘tips’ you’ll see below are probably things you felt more naturally years ago. Sometimes, it simply takes a small reminder to ensure us that our relationships can be successful at any age, if we’re willing to put in the effort.
1. Be Vulnerable and Understanding
At any stage of a relationship, it’s important to open yourself up as much as possible. It’s when we start to guard our hearts that things can feel tense. This is especially true for lasting relationships, such as a 30-year marriage. Oftentimes, tensions can start to build and we can feel disconnected from our partners when we’re keeping things in. You should never be afraid of vulnerability.
Additionally, it’s important to reciprocate. Be understanding to your partner’s vulnerability, and encourage them to open up as well. Relationships based on honesty and trust very rarely feel stale.
2. Build Emotional Security
Just as it’s imperative to feel heard and understood, feeling as though you’re safe with your partner is a huge necessity in a successful relationship. It’s one thing to feel physical protection, but emotional safety is crucial (and sometimes harder to achieve). You should never feel as though your partner will belittle your emotions, and you should never belittle theirs. A sense of trust should always be the underlying glue that holds a solid relationship together from the start.
3. Know How to Disagree
No one wants to get into heated arguments into a relationship. But, it’s unrealistic to think that disagreements will never happen. But, that doesn’t mean they can’t be beneficial, when you know how to argue the ‘right’ way.
Oftentimes, we go into arguments with the mindset that our opinions are correct, no matter what. It’s easy to feel frustration, anger, and even resentment. Unfortunately, this can lead us to saying things we’ll regret later. Instead, try practicing patience and love when you argue with your significant other. If you go into the disagreement with an attitude of love, it could completely change the outcome, and leave you both feeling better about things.
Understandably, this isn’t always easy to do, and it’s something that takes time to get used to. Take your thoughts and feelings captive whenever you’re in a disagreement with your partner, and you might be surprised at the differences in your responses and overall attitude.
4. Communicate Correctly
Whether you’re dating someone new, or you’ve been in a relationship for years, communication is the key to success. There are plenty of tips and tricks to follow when it comes to utilizing communication to your advantage, but here are some basic rules to follow:
- Use positive language
- Talk about what your partner does well, instead of their shortcomings
- Focus on your partner alone when you’re talking
- Show verbal appreciation whenever possible
5. Be Comfortable With Yourself
Sometimes in relationships, it’s easy to feel trapped if we aren’t given the space and independence we need. Some people require more of it than others in order to feel fulfilled. However, both parties in a relationship should be comfortable doing their ‘own thing’ once in awhile. Not only will this help to offer a sense of independence for both of you, but it can be a source of encouragement when your partner believes in your hobbies and goals.
Again, building a successful relationship can start at any age. Don’t be afraid to use some of these tips in your own relationship, whether it’s to get out of a rut, or get your feet wet in the dating scene again.
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