Learn more about this detrimental personality trait and how to help your loved one rise above it.

Romantic relationships are complicated; even the best relationships require work and care to ensure their success. What happens when we find ourselves in a relationship that’s fundamentally more difficult than the average? Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be a tough situation that may require even more work to determine your best path to success. Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? What’s the best route to a healthy relationship? Is there hope? Keep reading to learn more.

What is a narcissist?
Narcissists are often perceived as conceited, self-absorbed, overly confident and superior to others. They typically have grandiose personalities and want to be the most talked about and noticed person in the room. Despite their perceived confidence they’re usually profoundly hurt, self-conscious, or worried about fitting in. Because of our highly individualistic society, mild forms of narcism are pervasive and often even encouraged in the United States. However, when a person’s narcissist tendencies become severer is when people begin to take notice and understand the concerns related to this personality trait.

How do you know you’re dealing with a narcissist?
Many narcissists exhibit the same patterns that are easy to identify when you’re looking for them. Does your partner display any of the following traits?

Are they a conversation hoarder?
Do they interrupt often?
Are they a rule breaker?
Do they disregard your thoughts or feelings? Or, break promises and never apologize for their actions?
Are they overly charismatic?
Must they look like the most well-off, smartest, or most exciting person in the room?

The above list makes it’s easy to see how these traits can be destructive to a relationship. Not being able to communicate your feelings, being consistently let down, or having to deal with the consequences of legal issues or money problems is enough to turn even the best relationship sour. However, if you recognize the above traits in your partner, not all is lost. If you choose to continue a relationship with a narcissist, there are ways to have longterm happiness. There are necessary strategies that can help you restore the health, balance, and respect in your relationship.

See the positive: A narcissist, despite being difficult to be in a relationship with still can have positive personality traits that can be wonderful. Typically, they’re fun to be around, captivating, and successful. Seeing the good in them is an integral part of continuing a long-term relationship with them.

Understand the negative: Narcissism often comes from a place of deep pain and self-consciousness. Knowing that your partner has these problems that need to be addressed can help understand why they act the way they do.

Seek the help you need: Because a narcissist’s challenging behavior is the cornerstone of their personality, many conversations with them can be less than productive. Seeking the help of a professional therapist can be an essential strategy when working through relationship problems with a narcissist. Their skill can help navigate your relationship in way that’s productive and useful.

Dr. Dimitra Takos is a Newport Beach Psychologist specializing in the treatment of adolescents and adults suffering from depression, anxiety, and trauma-and stressor-related disorders.